I've had a lot of jobs.

This one is the hardest.

I'm a stay-at-home dad.

Before that, I was a copywriter.
Before that, I was in sales.

Funny thing is, it’s kind of the same job.

It’s all about reading your audience,
knowing what to say, and how to say it.

Like, when it's 3 am, and the boss is being fussy. I'm up in seconds.

Bottle in one hand, good vibes in the other.

Or when there's a blowout, and I'm out of diapers. I don't panic.

I walk up to a stranger, ask for a spare, and somehow leave with a playdate on the calendar.

When he needs entertaining, I’ve got a voice for every stuffed animal in the house.

Mr. Fishy is a little salty, but sweet.

Doug the Donkey has a nice set of pipes and never misses a chance to use ‘em.

And Bella the Clown Dog is bubbly but a lil obsessed. Speaks exclusively in Spanish.

(Welp)
That's it. That's the job.

And remember to always stay calm.

They can smell fear.

Reference?
I'll see what I can do about asking el jefe.